It's the word Angela and I have been trying to work into our vocabulary more. If you're wondering what I mean, swap 'full' for 'busy' before telling someone how your day, week, month seems to be going. It's a lesson in a bit of PMA in realizing that all the crap that you're tackling every day is super privileged crap, and you GET to do that crap. 

I'm easily stressed. It comes out in my racing, work and often conversations. Swapping in 'full' kinda puts less pressure on me. Instead of stressing about how I don't have anytime to do anything ever, I'm trying to figure out how to better execute the things I get to do. Trying to actually schedule time in my life for the things I want to do. 

It's exactly the reason I want a coach for as long as I'm actually trying to be fast on a bike. It's stress relief. I don't need to stress about what I'm supposed to do to get fast. My coach Jacob basically tells me how high to jump and then I jump. He pushes me to jump higher and then I jump higher. I don't need to stress about my fitness because this schedule is made for me, I follow it, then the work is done. It helps when your coach is your friend and being able to trust them.

I know it works in cycling, so I'm trying to apply it to my life. It's pretty difficult, because when my life was just always busy I reacted the same way any other A.D.D. person would, tackle whatever is right in front of you and forget about everything else. Trying to make my life more full (I'm realizing more daily) is more than just swapping out words, but also swapping tactics. Like. Making a schedule. It should be obvious, but man, sometimes it's not. It might not be as straightforward as training, thought I think it will, as in racing, translate into results.

On that note, one thing I'm trying to schedule more time for is building (slowly) my photography business. I'm starting with small, achievable goals while trying to figure out the logistics of small business. One of the first things on my list was putting together a more 'pro' website for my photography that my blog ('not pro') is right now.

So I'm rolling out that is an official thing now. I know what I can do with photographs, what I WANT to do and what is reasonable to achieve in the next year while working full time and racing. 

I'm keeping SHREDORDEAD as a personal space. Where I can keep musing on bike racing (I'm even making plans for more involved personal internetting) and keep making content to make my blog more full. Without being busy. It's all related I guess.