I’ve been trying to shoot Amiel’s portrait for a couple of years now. It took me not participating in racing Provincials myself in order to corral him into it finally. I maybe was a bit rushed on this particular day, I didn’t realize that the Sunday racing schedule was moving so swiftly, so instead of being able to take my time setting it up it was a little run and gun. I’m happy to have finally got it though, even if I didn’t quite nail the focus as much as I wanted to on the 4x5. It would have been nice to have him seated after racing, it’s difficult not to drift after a weekend full of racing.

Keeping my own challenges in perspective is difficult sometimes. Many of my goals and dreams don’t often line up with reality, but so many of them do. Q-Tip in A Tribe Called Quests’ Mr Incognito summed it up perfectly: Ride, Crib, Mutt, Wife. I’m trying be grateful for those things and while it’s cold this week sleeping in my relatively unfinished camper van, there’s so many folks who don’t have the privilege of making choices that keep them safe and out of the elements.

I’m coming in quick with another from Gastown. I have to say I’m quite proud in a really nerdy way of the photos I managed at Gastown this year. I don’t like using the fact that something is shot on film as a crutch to hold up the work. But I’m proud of a difficult exposure choice and shootin sports while focusing manually on a 500mm lens (this film camera doesn’t autofocus the much newer 200-500mm lens). But on top of the nerdy reasons that shooting film made this difficult, I think I made good decisions using the cut of light through downtown buildings to make this attacking rider pop from the group, the natural bounce off the fencing signage making real shape on the rider. I can’t say I knew the bounce was filling in as much as it did, it was a sweet reward of good decisions that led to an image I really like.

But, aside that I often enjoy the job, it has it’s downsides. Largely that I don’t drive home everynight. The long long hours mean that I choose to stay in my van, because I’m afraid I’d drive off a cliff on the Sea to Sky at night. Those same hours dictate that even if I did drive home everynight, it would be only to shower and turn around in the morning. I miss my family dearly while I’m working, when the strikes were on I got to spend so much more time at home, but I spent a lot of that time stressing out about cashflow and the uncertainty of when that was going to return. I found it hard to focus sometimes on the best parts of where I live (riding bikes, hikes, camping opportunities) just from being stressed out.

Whispering secrets, babbling throats, ears of stone.